randomness (or what goes through my head at 11:00 p.m. when Anwyn won't sleep)

I've included some random Christmas pictures in this post, just because. They have nothing to do with my random thoughts. The baby girl is cutting her top front teeth so the other night at bedtime, we gave her some ibuprofin to give her some relief from the relentless pain. Instead of calming her down and helping her sleep, she was amped for the next two hours. Go figure. Anyway, here is a glimpse of what I talk to myself about when I am sleep deprived and no one else is around.

A handknit sweater is like a hug that you can wear all the time. If I am ever diagnosed with a terminal illness, I will knit sweaters for all of my children. Yes, I do think morbid thoughts like that.

Could I give knitting lessons? I think that would be so much fun, but I don't know if there would be enough interest in our area.

Obviously I have knitting on the brain.

I have ordered yarn from knitpicks for my next three projects and am impatiently waiting for it to arrive. I literally pace the living room floor in the evenings, wishing for one of those projects to be in my hands.

If a person deliberately creates a very creative, unconventional atmosphere in which to raise their children, does it make the children better people or does it simply turn them into social misfits? Should one worry at all about what the rest of the world thinks, or should they just do their own thing and let the chips fall?

As one who was raised in an unconventional home, I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand, I love the fact that I am different from the rest of the world and can do many things that most other people can't do. On the other hand, there are moments in a crowd when I can't relate to all of the "normal" people and I feel very alone and wish that I had been raised more normally.

Raising children is the most terrifying thing I have ever done. Will I get enough things right that they will be functioning, productive members of society?

Is it possible to be healthy on a vegetarian diet, especially while pregnant and breastfeeding?

My brothers used to make beautiful wooden spoons. I want to make some.

My biggest goal for the New Year is to be less goal-oriented. I am completely OCD about accomplishing what I need to accomplish. As a result, I have a permanent ache between my shoulderblades because I can never relax. My prayer and desire for the coming year is that I will be able to give myself to the rhythm of life and family and view it as a process rather than a goal to be achieved. I have no idea if that makes sense to anyone but me...but then again, I came up with it while functioning on only a portion of my brain cells.

By way of explanation on the photos...Anwyn got her first doll for Christmas. She opened it, looked at it, smiled and then began to beat it in the face. This is currently how she shows affection. The poor doll has also been turned into a slingshot by the older brothers.

Owen was the little drummer boy in our church Christmas program.

Stephen bought the boys a ton of stickers and display boards and they had so much fun creating their own scenes. My husband is the greatest Daddy in the world.